July 1

I want to leave you a part of me. 

Not a gift, because I'm poor and gift giving was never our love language anyway. 

So I'll leave you words. 

Here are my scattered & unfiltered thoughts: 

I just want to write something beautiful,

Like you. 

For you. About you. 

Because of you I'm not afraid of wearing glasses. 

Because of you I've braved my fear of heights. 

Because of you we could prove we would do this right. 

We've already practiced this patience thing before so this is nothing new. 

For 2.5 we'll have to remember memories and love in photographs and letters.

These feelings are taller than I am.

I can't wait to fall more in love with you after our missions. 

July 1 doesn't care how we feel. 

And they don't either. 

They were working and we only had two more days together. 

That dude was biking and we only had two more days together. 

They took family pictures and we only had two more days together. 

That lady was on her phone and we only had two more days together. 

It amazes me how we only had two days together and no one else knows how it feels. 

But now it's here. 

And we don't have any more days together. 

July 1 doesn't care how it feels. He's come regardless of how we feel. 

Songs we played our last night together

Run and go by 21 pilots 

Trees by 21 pilots 

Last Date by Floyd Cramer

Photograph by Ed Sheeran

But most of our night was filled with deep-thought-silence and "how did we get here?"

We were staring into Salt Lake Valley and at the airplanes and what they meant. We were talking into our tomorrow's and remembering our yesterdays. 

Here's a soundtrack to us. 

80s dance-Closer to love by Mat Kerney

Tuesday's night and Wednesday's flight- photograph by Ed Sheeran

Falling in love- wait by M83 and adore you by Miley Cyrus

Our Last date- yellow by Coldplay 

10,000 emerald pools- as itself 

May 11-everything has changed by Taylor swift ft. Ed Sheeran

May 28-bonfire heart by James Blunt

Post mission reunion- all this time by one republic 

I gave you my Mexico bracelet because I want you to remember me every day. 

This Monday morning held the most meaningful silence. And these Monday night tears are for you, because this is hard. 

 

You asked if I had any last words and all I could think of was:

"Thank you"

And "I love you."